on the way back home on the train, was sitting beside a guy who was digging him nose happily, flipping his papers on people and wetting his fingers with his saliva to ease flipping of the pages. i very much like to tell him: hey there, there're some things u can juz keep to urself. there is no need for public display of them. oh mentioning about this reminded me of the girl beside me during lect.. she was like clearing her ear hole (the pierced one) and den she jus kept flicking stuff off her fingers.. omg, where is the sense of hygiene of people?! sometimes i wonder can anyone really dun care about how other people see them? totally indifferent to the scrutiny they're under? i can't imagine that coz personally, i gotto admit that i cant. can you? people can jolly well say they're just happy being themselves and who cares about what others gotto say. but in my opinion, still think that it is inevitable that every individual will be affected by the judgements of others. as much as we would like to ignore or even deny that, i feel it's just how the way things are.. there's no way we can really oppose it. it might sound like a loser who is twisted around the fingers of social norms or whatsoever, but hey.. sometimes we really gotto face the fact.

wanna watch 'i not stupid 2' but it seems that most of my frens are not interested in watching it in cinemas.. i wan.. like the first show coz i feel that there are well mixed of various elements in the show.. and it's something we can relate to. can still remember i cried at the scene where the boy was bringing his result to his mum who was in the hospital.. he didnt manage to reach her expectation afterall, but his mum was nonetheless happy cos he had put in effort. so i guess it made me realised that sometimes it's not that parents have unreasonable expectations, it's juz that they view things differently. so anyone wanna watch that show?

but wadever. those are not important..wad's impt today was wad i did...
after a long long struggle, i'd finally done it.. finally filled up the withdrawal form and handed it up.. tt's it.. no more turning back. was thinking about it throughout the journey back home just now and all the memories came back.. how we slacked arnd in our room, the 128 hangout (remembered it when i filled in the room no. on the form juz now), how we would have breakfast together and walked to sch, and of coz having supper with ah pek or neville (3 1/2 women) or dage. but i guess the analysis we did in OB tutorial was true somehow- that maybe i really do need space of my own. and i can't help but feel as though im trapped in sch if i were to continue staying. it's quite a selfish decision i've made. had been goin in circles about this issue for a long time.. some might think wad's the big deal about it..but to me it is.. coz it's a decision that will not only affect myself. have no idea how to put it across to zhiwei.. maybe i'd disappoint him.. i don't know. but the more important thing is that im sorry hw.

everyone who saw me today was asking if i'm very tired..yes i am..wasnt feeling well and it had to be such a long day..really hate tuesdays. been a bad day.

it's been hanging in my mind all these while..been thinking about it over and over again, asking the same question over and over again. it didn't help having an indecisive nature (for most stuff at least). but at this very point of time, this selfish self has finally come to a decision. have no idea if i'll ever regret or whatsoever, but i'll miss it for sure from time to time. no matter what, i guess there'll have to be give and take for everything. nothing's perfect afterall. have no idea how am i going to put it across. seriously have no idea...

world of my own.

was only supposed to meet chui for lunch yesterday.. or rather the day before(thurs).. den head back home, be a good girl and do my FM homework(which are due on every friday -_-"). but in the end succumbed to temptation! thanks to chui n cw, off we went into the cinema to enjoy Memoirs of a Geisha. The little girl who acted as young Sayuri sooo cute and pretty!! Somehow i still get this feeling that the Chairman's slightly pedophiliac. haha.. but nonetheless the show was pretty nice i think. the show suddenly made me feel that it seems that everything in this world revolves around love. i guess it really does.


went sing song with chui n raf juz now.. it was hilarious when we sang the old old shuang1 tian1 zhi4 zhun1 theme song- 当爱插身儿过. damn funny la! hope the guy who came into the room didnt get a shock. but the song's cool la! haha.. oh ya! and 1 more ting frm today.. erm.. fri i mean.. dear chui ah.. dun tok so loud n scare ppl k? hahha!

okie.. that's it la..i'm falling aslp soon.. nitezz!

knew it right from the start.. it sucks..

it really does

i just wanna scream

it's sat..finally!! tis wk's so stressful! FM's so cheem.. i duno how to do e tutorials.. i'm so dead!how am i gonna survive this whole sem?!! things dun look bright.. oh no..

haiya.. but since it's wkend.. let's throw everyting aside for now! hahaha.. juz got home not too long ago.. full day out..damn tired.. but im not complaining coz it's for our dear ms. au's bday! u've hit the BIG 2! wahahah! so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! oh..we juz invented a new game today! cake jenga.. when the cakes we were eating left only a small portion that's standing, we'll take turns to eat the cake and whoever who causes the cake to fall is the loser! our poor chui.. partly due to the plastic fork she was using (the rest of us using metal forks la.. haha) she lost twice! and raf.. i noe u like mangoes.. oso dun need take e full piece mah.. lolx! a damn lame game la.. but hilarious too! hahaha..

haiyo.. kept talking abt driving just now.. im really worried. even raf felt scared 4 me.. nvm la..worse come to worse do it again! erm..not lik i'd be left with any other choices if tt happens.. but still.. nvm la. will touching driving licenses b4 the test really work? hmm..might have an answer on tues.. haha.. oh..chui darling..gd luck 4 ur fencing com in advance!

shall stop here.. i'm tired.. nitezz!

need a break. hence i'm here now.

it's only the second week of this sem and i'm actually stress.. i find this so ridiculous and unbelievable. but i really am. hello?? shldnt i still be relax and slacking at least for now?? urgh! there are so many work to be done. and knowing that, i can still go out and have fun just now. really doubt i can finish them (mayb i deserve it). sux man. really hate the mess i'm in now. just hope that i can survive through this week or rather this sem well. save me from this destitution.

next. i'm desperate to get my driving license. i am so serious. tired of going for driving lessons, doing the same things over and over again. having one at 10am tmr.. another one another day and another and it just goes on..taking up so much of my time and money. i have better uses for them. cant help but wonder does it really help? i'm so not going to believe my instructor anymore if i were to fail my test. ok, not very wise to curse myself like that esp when the test is next wk. but still.. cant describe how deperate i am. i need luck.

back track to sunday..wanna give credit to ZQ for being a good host. though froxy's nails were abit sharp and he gets abit domineering at times, nonetheless the class gathering was fun! =) the guys were still as lame as ever.. indian poker was.. hahha.. though it's been more than a year but it felt like yesterday..

chui dearie.. since u've made up ur mind.. be happy abt it n not tink of it anymore. it's rational of you to be able to come up with that decision. and we can plan for our next holiday! yeah~~ haha.

can't wait for next holi..i know the last one just ended.. i noe la! but dreams give motivation.. hence.. i'm dreaming..

was caught in a storm. in the middle of the sea. finally got to experience how it is like to be on a "small boat caught in the storm in the middle of the sea". was fun though.

been a really bad girl today. guilt. sigh. i'm sorry.

see man's back! long awaited arrival.. haha. was so worried when didnt hear frm her in the morning..cos if she had overslept.. there goes the lunch i organised.. luckily everything went well. but the weather sux.. rained..stopped..rained..stopped..and went on and on and on.. always causing us to stuck at buildings that are not linked to other places.. amanda wanna bridge so much but didnt managed to do so.. come to tink of itl, it's been a long long time since we bridged! missed those days which we'll find any corner in sch to bridge and heck our homework. reading rm, classrooms, etc.. bad kids! those were the days.. haha. ok! this sunday we're gonna do it! haha! i'm too tired to continue with anymore elaboration. desperate for slp, but i still haven make my mind! to go or not to go..that's the question..tired! urgh!

was watching some variety shows and realised tt WITHOUT fail.. the participants will CRY.. i wonder why.. it's like it's a must in show for those participants to cry.. but i guess they're over doing it and it's losing the effect. no. no sympathy. not at all. in fact i get rather turned off by the crying.. there are more things out there that's worth the tears. save them for better use.

first day of sem 2:

wad happened to the holi? it flew passed yet again. fine, still gotto face it anywayz.. didnt wanna wake up for sch, but decided to be a good girl and dragged myself up. the car dieded. wad a nice start of the day.. great. created my first ever experience of going to sch by myself early in the morning for lesson. cant believe how long the bus queue was! lucky thing was that i met cindy on the way and with the experience, brought me to the shorter queue =) but still, we were late. haha. the lecture was.. *yawnz*.. boring lects are bad enough.. but on top of that.. cant catch half.. or rather 3/4 of the stuff the lecturer said. booth manning was next.. boring as usual. crap event.. and hong en n his popcorns.. didnt noe u like those kinda popcorns leh.. haha.

met chui to go visit raf.. realised we sure noe how to self entertain very well.. dumb and dumberer.. lolx..oh n to chui: i'm sure ah mei's surname is AH la.. wahhahaha! wad did smu did to u manx?! hahaha.. juz slacked arnd in raf's place..talking and watching tv.. reminded me of how it used to be long long ago.. juz tt the venue changed, frm chui's place to raf's.. but still it was nice =) to raf: pls ah.. dun open ur mouth so wide can? scares me ya noe? haha.. dun watch shows tt'll make u laugh or yawn k? sad life i noe.. but hang on! haha! take care.

chui darling.. as for ur florida tingy.. u really cant expect a fair answer frm me cos since now tt im not goin, honestly i'd rather u not go n we can plan for another trip. to taiwan! rite raf?? and have another hilarious holiday experience. haha! so tink abt it urself la..

it's back in my mind.. once again. indecisive me.

cant comprehend myself.

it's e second day of 2006.. a brand new yr.. wonder wad's up for tis yr. didnt manage to write an entry yesrtday.. or rather an hour ago.. nonetheless, i wanna wish one and all.. Happy New Year! really hope tt it'll be a good year ahead. =)