dont feel right lately.. it's hard to even comprehend myself. not in the right state of mind. mayb im even schizophrenic by nature. who noes? seems to hav lose my sense of direction once again. or could it be that i've never ever found one before? it's back..the turmoil within is back. it makes me irritatingly irritable. hate it. got to knock myself in the head.

sedation required.

oh ya. did i mention work was EXTREMELY boring today? yawnz.

received some letters today.. but still not the ones i'm hoping to lay my hands on.. when will they come? will they ever arrive?

anticipation.

today's friday! tmr no work! no typing of data! yippee! haha. guess wat? we saw local artists today during lunch time. didnt ever hav e experience of taking pic w artists b4. rather amusing i tink. lik some sort of fans. haha. jeff wang looked as though he jus walked out of tv! wat's best is tt he didnt had any airs. (thumbs up) =)

was looking thru the pics took in HK. really missed the trip. though we were rather pathetic due to lack of $$. can remember we even tot of all sort of lame ideas to get money (eg. go to spore embassy located there to seek for aid?? lolx!) thinking back.. tt was so much fun! but now? haiz.. i'll be at real loss if im not accepted into any of the biz courses. all the waiting is driving me crazy.

fear.

meetin hf n ys tmr.. not sure abt hs.. goin gai gai. not exactly supposed to spend anymore.. but it'll hav to depend.. hope tmr wil b a gd day. nitezz.

duno wat's the problem with me. ok. not exactly a great day to start off with. woke up late.. no, actually woke up early.. but went back to deamland AGAIN.. so serve me right to hav to rush off to work. in the midst of rushing, my stupid shoe had to give me blister. hate it man! wat's best was that i actually fell down on my knees! looking as though i was down on my knees out of a sudden doin some prayer or sort. nvm. the worse is tt i tink im mad. sucks.

back at work. tink my data entering skill's quite bad. ok. let's admit it. it's REAL bad. haha. took me so long to complete all the forms! urgh! tt's wat happens when u're just plentium 1/2. need some upgrading man (if tt's ever possible). hahaha. fianlly saw see man online! so happy! :D see man: really miss u man! though i noe u're enjoying urself back in HK.. but come back soon! *grinz* sometimes im rather confused w myself. i can b real senstive to other's feelings. but some other time i jus cant put myself in other's shoes. for instance, i totally cant understand y some rather keep tings to themselves then to turn to their closest frens? wat r frens for? ppl shld not surpress everyting to themselves all the time. not tt i dont do tt, but not abt EVERYTING.. nvm.. jus hope u'll cheer up. =) oh anyway.. HS intro me a new song by Mariah Carey.. she's back! as in her old self's back! haha. super nice song. listed into my fav list liao. haha. here's how it goes...

"I Wish You Knew"

I've got to see you

Wherever you are

And I've got to be there

I'm wishing on stars

I've got to reveal what's inside of my heart

But the words escape me

And I'm paralyzed

So helpless when I

Look into your eyes

[chorus]

And how I wish you only knew

What I feel inside for you

You probably haven't got a clue

But I wish you knew

How I love you baby

Honestly I know it's silly of me

To want you so badly

But keep it concealed

See my inferiority complex kicks in

And the words escape me

And I'm paralyzed

So helpless when I

Look into your eyes

[chorus]

And how I wish you only knew

What I feel inside for you

You probably haven't got a clue

But I wish you knew

How I love you baby

finally! the dreadful part of the day's finally over!!! dont tink i did well for any of the interview though. the smu interview.. which we'd discussed abt the case whereby the Nepalese twins who were sucessfully separated here. though im sitting on the fence for tis matter but somehow im not totally supportive of wat had been done.. anyway.. i jus crapped my way thru the other interview. ok. mayb not reali crap but oso didnt noe wat im suppose to say. so jus keep blabbering! haha. oh. heard my team started data capturing today. hope they didnt had extra load due to my absence and tt they managed well. :)

tmr i'll be going 4 BOTH smu n ntu's interview.. totally unprepared.. freaking out now actually. my brain hasn't exactly been active for quite sometime. it's sorta lik a rusted engine needed to be activated real soon. praying for it to be co-operative. tmr wil be rather dreadful i guess.. one's in e morning n one's in e evening.. so basically my mind wil be tormented 4 the whole of tmr.. reali hate nerve recking moments lik tt.. i can even picture the awkward moments when i'm tougue tight or fumble upon my words. whenver i'm nervous my mind wil just defy me n refuse to string my thoughts together. my mind's whriling.. heard the interview 4 smu wil be in grps of abt 8.. n wil be doing some discussion. how am i suppose to out talk 7 other mouths.. esp if they're all very vocal ppl? ok.. i do talk alot.. but not abt serious affairs which concerns my future even worse under such tense circumstances.. my frens told me jus be myself n i'll be fine.. but i seriouly doubt i'll be able to carry out myself by then. reali hope i'll be able to convince myself to relax, jus be myself n be composed.. or at least appear to be.. there're already butterflies fluttering in my stomache now. wat's more tmr? reali need some luck tmr man. But i guess first of all i hav to put my mind at ease n get to slp tonight.. hopefully.