Does knowing what’s right but not doing it makes it more rational then not knowing what to do and not doing it? Apparently not. Can’t seems to remember since when did this fire lose its flame. Seems that it’s been such a long time ago that it’s hard to recall how the touch of the flame felt. Triumph? Confidence? Pride? Can’t remember…

Can’t remember when did this escapist got lost in her own world, allowing herself to be deluded by illusions or rather taught her mind to erase stuff that will hit her hard on the face. If it persists, she’ll never be able to get back to the real world. Even if she does, it’ll be real tough. Even now, it’s hard enough. She's perpetually tired. Probably tired of the herself. She’s tired of her obstinate self, which she very much detests. How sad can it gets when she can't face the reality and herself?

原來 最疼痛的表情竟是沒有情緒...
原來 最悲傷的是我不能面對自己

she urgently needs to get back.. before it's too late.