the J-junction

2007-09-30T20:21:00.000+08:00

2007-08-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

走在大街的女子
歌手：林忆莲

黄昏交错的影子
重叠零乱的心思
意乱情迷的城市
快乐悲伤都很容易忘记
传来的旋律有一点熟悉
风吹疲惫的令我想哭泣

走在大街的女子
是不是都有一些些心事
走在大街的女子当心你就要走失

我用缓缓的速度
陪伴无心的漫步
模糊不清的笑容
就像黑白画面静止不动
过往的人群那麽不清晰
哗笑的令我无法再回忆

走在大街的女子
为什麽都是忧伤的姿势
走在大街的女子到底你要去哪里
你要去哪里

2007-07-23T12:27:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Finally. PA's over!!! Finally!!! Omg what a long 10 weeks it had been. It's been quite sometime since I'm home on a Monday morning. Monday blues no more! =D It's such a nice and clam morning where I take things on my pace and do only things I desire. Perhaps not ONLY things which I desire cos' there are many things that need to be done such as the report and reading up for arp. But it's alright, at least I can stay up late in the nights again. Just a tiny bit of update here..

Dim Sum Dollies was GREAT! The settings, the acting, the vocals, the music and all was good! The tunes and lyrics were so catchy and funny esp the line "relax in a cor-ner!", which Chui and I just kept singing that line after the show! haha. And just like what chui said, local shows are always good cos the humour is so close to home. And it made also gave audiences a good laugh over some issues, which are often discussed in a serious tone.

Harry Potter was less than exciting, hence I shan't eleborate it any furthur. But it was really fun play taboo that night before the movie!

I shall stop here for now. Going Ikea with chui!

2007-06-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging for a long time. there's nothing much that's going on actually. work, which is taking up a big portion of my time, is fine. but half of the time when i get home i'm already too tired for anything else and i'll sleep at like 11 plus. that's really early. the one thing that was really happening this week is a good news, which i shan't make a big announcement about. but i'm really happy for you darling. =)

just got back from mj-ing at charlie ah pek's place. i guess all the chocolate, muffin and cheese cake made us high on sugar and we were abit crazy while mj-ing. but the big winner aka ah pek was really nice and decided not to collect the debts. haha. while driving us out for dinner, there was a lizard at the screen wiper and ah pek was like "look at the wiper" then he just 'swept' the lizard off to the other side of the car with the wiper. ewwww. hate lizards! finally got the chance to try the famous bak chor mee at bedok. the default one is the soup kind unlike the normal ones where people usually have the dry ones. nice soup and meet balls. the stingray and chicken wings are not bad too.sab has the talent for baking!

celebrated zz's birthday on friday at Hooters and all i can say is that i'm not a big fan of that place. lol. on the journey back home with zz and karen, zz mentioned something about being emo and i said that's probably girls' best friend. haha. at least that's true for me. especially in the night. to me, being in the emo mode does not necessarily mean being upset. in fact i think it's not an upsetting thing. being emo is actually a chance to think about stuff and live in the world of your own momentarily. which isn't such a bad thing huh?

really feel like watching a movie and going HMV to just listen to songs and find a really nice album.

It's so gonna be a blue monday.

2007-05-19T01:24:00.000+08:00

Not in the best of mood. Then again, since when have I been in the best of mood? Even I, myself, can't exactly remember when was the last time.

It's been a long time since exams ended and attachment started. I really do miss the days when I had more time to myself. Having more time to myself would mean more time for reflection, which I do all the time. Everywhere, anywhere. But one tends to get more emotional in the night. Working's tiring such that I sleep really early every night and before knowing it, it's time to set off for work once again. And this cycle just keep repeating itself. Perhaps that is the reason why people are who they are today. Many things that had happened, heard or seen had changed my opinions of many issues. Changed the way I see things. Some of which I have yet to get in terms with.

I really wish to indulge in the world of my own.

2007-04-19T00:21:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, I'll like to thank Prof Ralph for today. He's a nice guy.

Is there a limit to the number of sighs one can use in a lifetime? If there is, when is mine ending? There are so many other things I hope is endless, but sigh is definitely not one of them. As I've mentioned before, only we ourselves are our own best friend. There are so many things we choose to keep to ourselves and there are thousand and one reasons for doing so. There are many things we do not wish to speak of. Probably not because there is no one to turn to, but perhaps we cannot bring ourselves to do so.

I've always like kids and I still do. However it was recently that a thought crossed my mind and that is, is it really good to have kids in the future. The reason is nothing like raising a kid is tough and such. I'm just wondering why are we bringing another life into the world? What's the main point of it? So that we'll have company when we're old? So that the family will be complete? So that the country will have sustainable population? What else? Of course many people are leading great lives and they're having great experiences, but I can't help but feel that there are too much misery involved. Please note that I'm not saying life is meaningless and that one should just give up. As long as u already exisit, you just have to make the best out of it. But I still like kids, so yea. But I'm not sure if it's purely for selfish reasons. Guess it's just how life goes.

It's over. I may not see you again.

At least not often.

2007-04-02T22:41:00.000+08:00

It's a slightly dated photo taken on my birthday. Just goped from chui yesterday. Kisses from my dearies.. I likeee itttt..

This too.. Charlie Ah Pek with Angels..

Got so many many many mosquito bites from chui's birthday party yesterday! *grumble grumble* haha. But hope you had fun yesterday ger..

Finally! Finally!! I'm done with AB214 final presentation!! No more scary scary presentations!! What a relieve. Phew~~

Yes, exam's coming. Very very soon. Scary Scary.

But I'm on strike tonight. Really need a good sleep tonight.

2007-03-29T23:02:00.000+08:00

How to make campus life interesting? fun? Community outreach? what kind?? improve physical enviroment? like what??? I'm so stuck for the final presentation on Monday. Really have no no no idea what to do on. Do you? Suggestions please?? I need my 20%.. Thanks.

On the way back home today when the bus passed by st nicks. Looking at all the st nicks girls really brought back memories. They are extact reflection of us, those 'we are sn girls days'. lol. Was just talking about st nicks' days with tq on the way to school this morning. Though we were forced to do many extra stuff (non-academic) and having to handle the thousand and one tests every week (Yes, trust me, we had testS EVERY WEEK), it was fun. I mean though we complained so much in the past for all the work and stuff, but if it weren't for all those activities, perhaps sec school days won't be so memorable. St nick rox!

Only in our dreams can we live the perfect life. The life that we probably will not be able to live alive. Surreal indeed. Let me live in my dreams. Maybe one day they'll come true. Maybe.

Maybe as much as I would like to find out, I do not really wish to know.

Just heard a song today and thought it's really sweet.
Will it ever happen?

Photoshop-ed!

2007-03-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

ah san is photoshop-ed into the pic by hf as requested.. take a look!

I think the only person who looks real in the picture is hf.. haha. the rest of us look.. digital. lol. but i like the light effect.. looks abit dreamy.. wahaha. frankly speaking, i think it's quite well edited cos my hand on hf's shoulder looks like it belongs to ys! lolx!

I like it!

Love them

2007-03-16T02:02:00.000+08:00

Had a nice day(15 Mar)! Time passed by so fast. Can still vividly recall what happened at year ago on the same day. I guess it's really true that after 20, time passes really fast. Besides for school, ya you all know.. everything else was nice! first and foremost, I love my family. Espeically my parents! Love them loads! Mummy rejected her principal to go Changi for a course cos's she promised me dinner. =) And of cos' the necklace.. I'm not gonna take it off forever! Thanks Mom! Papa too! hehe..

Thanks my dear frens for giving me a pleasent suprise! Thanks babes! Seriously thought hf and hs was going to my hse to suprise me, but turned out that chui planned for them, as well as the rest, to be at Clark Quay's Central. First time being there, shall shop there someday. Went Billy Bombmers (hs LOVE it.. wahaha) cos' i said i wanted nice view and yea, quite nice river view there. haha. And i was saying, those are the people who are around me when i was 12 (even before that) and now being 21, those friends are still there. It's nice. Hope we can still be like this even when we're 81! And ys called from UK to wish me happy birthday!! Thanks ger!! *touched* Treasure your friends. =)

Oh yes, yips did a nice collage for me! hahah.. Thanks babe!! See see ->

Anywayz, ah san.. this is the bag hf n hs got for me.. i tell u ah.. there's a WOW factor within the bag.. show u when u come back huh?? lolx!

I gotto say Apple has really good delivery service. Firstly, it only took them 2-3days, after ordering, to deliver your stuff. Next, they'll msg you to find out first if you're home before making the delivery. And when my reply was "There's no one home. Is it possible for me to collect it from somewhere later in the day?", the reply was "Where are you?".. And they actually agreed to deliver to where I am. NTU. yes, Boon Lay. Although the courier happened to cover that area too, but still, it's the effort that they bother to deliver right to you. Yup, thumbs up! My lovely nano with it's pink sock. hehe. I still love my zen mirco too despite it being crazy. haha.

And of cos, I'll like to thank all my friends, thanks for all your well wishes and hope they'll all come true! And the wishes i made as well! haha. I realised many friends remembered and I really really appreciate it. On the other hand, I know I'm a lousy friend, who really have prob remembering my friends' birth dates.. I'm so sry! Thanks again!

I love so many people and so many things in my life. And yes, I'll learn to treasure everything in my life, and life itself as well.

21 years old.

2007-03-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

Lost the dunnogang bear on the way home. It dropped off my phone. It's not the first time, but it's really gone this time round. If only... maybe... haiz. Sad.

There are so many things stuck in my mind. All sorts of things. Frankly speaking, I really have no idea what am I thinking. I mean yes I do know what am I thinking, but perhaps I should say I do not know what am I doing or what am I up to. Tq is right, I should train myself not to think of unnecessary stuff cos' it's pointless.

I got to learn to be positive. I need to do what I need to do. I will grow and learn.

Mummy & Papa love me.

I love them too. =)

2007-03-14T14:03:00.000+08:00

Since i'm so bored in the library all by myself waiting for tq to end her project meeting and to move on to the next class, thought i shall just drop a post. im feeling so sick now, physically. it's this sickness, which i do get rather often espcially when it gets stuffy (yes i hate stuffy places), it a weird feeling. Everything just seems to be wrong and nothing will relief the discomfort. Hate it hate it! Perhaps it's attributed to the erratic weather as well. Was bright and sunny in the morning and now the sudden downpour.

In the past, this week we'll all be having a 1 week break. But now, everyone's busy. There are so many things to worry about, nothing seems right. Sigh. I really hope my apple nano will be delivered tomorrow. Maybe it'll perk me up. Please let it be. Please please.

Oh before I could finish typing this post, the rain had stopped. Talk about mood swing huh.

Grey

2007-03-13T11:24:00.000+08:00

What a gloomy day. Grey like the blogskin.

I do like dark and gloomy days, with trees swaying violently in the strong wind. Before the arrival of a strom, when cats and dogs may fall from the sky. (no?? then how did the term 'raining cats and dogs' come about?) oh never mind.

Just feel relaxed and cosy in such a weather. Perhaps that's the peace before strom.

But this is a weird one cos' it's so warm.

Negativity

2007-03-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

Got to know that shu has got chicken pox and I was really suprised as we just went singing yesterday and she seemed fine. Chui got it before in pri school, so the only possible person who might be infected is me! But since I'm dreading the arrival of next week, getting down with chicken pox now might not be such a bad thing. Blah. At least it's not exam period.. yet. I'm seriously tired of having to do presentations that are recorded and every of your gestures will affect your grade. AND what's worse is that you your memory is put to test when you got to remember EVERYTHING that you have to say. I've said it many times and I'm still gonna say it. I HATE IT. I'm fine with normal presentations, but having to remember everything and to remember all your gestures at the same time can be really tough.

Somtimes knowing yourself too well can be rather bad. And when it involves upsetting stuff but you can only keep it to yourself. Or rather chose to keep it to yourself. Perhaps it requires a great deal of guts to open up to others as it will be as good as admitting you flaws. There are people out there who have the fortitude of doing so, definitely not me. Remember, I'm an escapist.

因为了解所以很伤心。 How apt.

I'm such a negative person.

2007-03-02T22:25:00.000+08:00

Term break is ending. But it didn't feel like it was a break in the first place. Tons of stuff to do from essays to projects. Hate it. But at least managed to (or rather chose to) go kbox. sing sing sing.. lalala... no, it was LALALA cos the next door was so loud! =.=

I guess in life, the motivation which gets us going are the things that we look forward to. Life will be real hard if there is nothing to look towards.

it gets quite upsetting when there's nothing really to look forward to..

dun wan school to start. dun wan dun wan!

2007-02-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul.
You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have.
Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone.
You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

2007-02-24T20:40:00.000+08:00

You Are 45% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

yea i'm abit weird huh? but then, who isn't? stop deceiving yourself! haha

2007-02-24T20:12:00.000+08:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

2007-02-24T19:59:00.000+08:00

You Follow Your Heart

You're romantic, sentimental, and emotional.
You tend to fall in (and out of) love very quickly.
Some may call you fickle, but you can't help where your emotions take you.
You've definitely broken a few hearts, but you're not a heartbreaker by nature.
Your intentions are always good, even if they change with the wind

Do You Follow Your Head or Your Heart?

2007-02-24T19:44:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: March 15

For you, love is a natural progression from friendship. You are almost always friends first.
In love, you are loyal, steady, and honest. You are not a cheater or even much of a flirt.
You are likely to stay friends with your ex... and open to rekindling something in the future.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 6

You are most compatible with people born on the 6th, 15th, and 24th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Chinese New Year

2007-02-17T22:02:00.000+08:00

it's the time of the year again.. my fav time of the year.. chinese new year's eve! yup i'll always make it a point to post an entry at this time. went chinatown with dunnogang before ys left to let her enjoy the festive mood. not too sure if she did cos' it was so crowded! haha. here are some of the pictures..

was at grandma's place for reunion dinner and my cousins played with the sparklers. and it's different from what we played in the past. when just lighted, they will produce the firecracker kinda sound. what an improvement huh? lolx.

Hope all ya out there will have a very good year ahead! collect many ang pows!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! 恭喜发财! 万事如意!

2007-01-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

omg it's been quite sometime since my last post n blogger changed abit huh? hmm.. yea im not abandoning my blog. nope. but nothing much to talk about these days. sch is.. just sch. yea, u noe wad i mean..

my heart is closed..

for..

myself.

2007-01-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

it's the first day of a brand new year! welcome 2007! Happy new year to one and all! really hope this will be a great year! :)

Cheers!

2006-12-24T18:55:00.000+08:00

the chipmunk version of this song's soo cute!

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth!

Gee, if I could onlyhave my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas."

It seems so long since I could say,
"Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
if I could only whistle (thhhh, thhhh)

All I want for Christmasis my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth.

Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas!"

2006-12-24T18:38:00.000+08:00

i'm back. just in case you thought i was going to abandon this blog for good. no, i'm not. =) today's christmas eve, so i shall get somethings off my mind for the moment. i'm quite sure the quiz i just took is not very accurate. a really nice person? bloody nice?? me??? absolutely untrue. lolx. it's been raining everyday so guess it'll be quite hard to really enjoy the xmas lights. but luckily on thurs when 3 women, dage n ah pek met up, it wasnt raining that night, so managed to take a stroll down town.

I like xmas trees. =)

She (or he?) is cute. haha

Ah pek, me & sab

The couple. haha

was looking through see man's blog and her pics, i got reminded of hongkong!! i miss the night view!! esp that time when we were there, it was xmas season and the night view's really really nice. was telling raf that i miss hk and she agreed.. i am so going hongkong soon (i hope) to visit man man too! hk..

Wanna wish all a Merry Christmas!

P.S you betta be good cos santa's coming to town!

2006-12-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

Grrrr-R-A-T-E

2006-10-22T16:02:00.000+08:00

I am so having a headache. That explains the mental block, hence I'm here to give it time to unclog itself and to express my displeasures - grumble.

Am so desperate to want to just get over the quiz and be done with it. BUT, while i was happily at question 11, 4 more to go to get over with it, the darn quiz had to hang!!! URGH!!! And i'm anxiously waiting for my tutor's reply to my e-mail telling me that it's been reset and that I can proceed on with it. BUT it's been moe than 2 hours, and the mail is nowhere near. It's weekend, and I can totally understand, but still. Take the trail quiz result, I really don't mind. URGH! Meanwhile, I've gotto think really creatively to come out with MY independent reasoning for the essay that's due tomorrow. Sadly, MY independent reasonings usually turns out to be - crap. PLUS, I've yet to do any reseach for tomorrow's project meeting. Wonderful.

Great. Life's really great now. Really. Can't get any better.

Grrrrr-R-E-A-T.

Screaming

2006-10-21T20:38:00.000+08:00

I just want to finish the darn essay, which i'm only one-third through and i'm stuck NOW

and

get over and done with the online quiz, which i'm not even half way through the notes.

All need to be done by TOMORROW.

urgh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.......................

Life is...?

2006-10-17T23:43:00.001+08:00

Once again there are thousand and one things that need to be done. but i can't bear to start work plus it's tuesday, the long and tiring day of the week. after a full 8 hours of lessons straight on every tuesdays, it'll feel like a sort of accomplishment. yea, so usually on tuesdays night will tend to give myself a break ( but not as if i don't on usual days.. as hf was saying the other day that the amount she rested will be enough for her to go around the world, and so i typed: i'll be able to go round twice then). but as i like to say, 休息是为了走更长远的路. omg, as i was typing that phrase, realised i actually can't remember the word 更 off hand. guess i need to write more in Chinese. have been off touch for quite sometime. anyway, that's out of the point. the point is that, work is really piling up. totally agree with zQ (with both hands up!) that - life .. is .. all .. abt .. meeting .. project .. datelines .. hey i'm worse in time management manz! lolx! 2 major projects, 1 essay assigment & 1 quiz to be done within the next week. that's for the time being. 2 more quizes to be done after those and exam's in 1 month's time. oh yea, i'm screwed. Sigh.

suddenly remembered that a few weeks ago, a tutor was saying that scientists can't categorize virus as being dead or alive and the punch line was something like - "and you thought you could differentiate between life and death". sometimes it makes sense. life and death. maybe they're just different type of living. but that'll depend on what's your definition of living. in this case, perhaps living is just existence? be it in whatever form? no idea. this leads to another thought that crossed my mind just that day. no one living person can really give an answer to the question - is there really life after death? if there really is, it's for us to find out when the time comes. but if there isn't, no one being will ever know the answer all their lives.

what is life? what is the meaning of living? all beings know that life will end one day, and when the day comes, all the sorrows and every other thing will be of no meaning. so why are people slogging their guts out everyday? i'm definitely part of that community and will always be till the time comes.

by the way, i'm not depressed or feeling down now. but stressed definitely. just curious. can't seems to figure the question of life out all the time. enlighten me if you can. as depressing as life can be at times, guess we just gotto learn to find things that'll make ourselves happier (even though we're living in one of the most unhappy country). indulge in little things. ignore about other's opinion or whatever. be a child if you want to. as long as it makes you happy, who cares? indulge.

projects projects projects.
readings readings readings.
reseach research reseach.
datelines datelines datelines.
quizzes, quizzes, quizzes.
work, work, work.
stress, stress, stress.

All will be of nothing when the time comes.

Life's a mystery with the capital M.

MId-Autumn

2006-10-06T23:06:00.000+08:00

it's so hazy outside that you can pretend that you're in genting among the clouds, minus the nice cooling weather. guess it's cos people are playing with lanterns, candles, or whatsoever on top of the haze. it's mid-autumn festival after all. but perhaps people living in my area all grew older along with me, it's a rare sight to see children carrying lanterns around now. can still remember vividly that during my primary school days, schools used to celebrate this festival and teachers will bring students out, walking around the neighbourhood carrying lanterns. not too sure if schools nowadays still do that, but it was fun. even when you're not the kids carrying the lanterns, seeing a long stretch of brightly lit lanterns was nice enough. i used to play with candles at my home's balcony with lantern/s hanging by the window or on a plant. there was once my dad bought a big lantern made of cellophane-like paper in the shape of a rooster and it was definitely a pleseant suprise. =) another of my fav lantern would be one my mum bought, which was like a ball made of paper and shaped into a tiger's head (cos i was born in the year of tiger. rah!). there were two memorable mid-autumn festivals so far for me. once was when i was having PSLE, which was ages ago, and the other one would be playing with chui and shu at the 'garden' in front of chui's old blk. ironically, i can't exactly remember what we did. guess we played with sparkles. haha. time flies and sad to say, these days, mid-autumn seems to be just another day. happy lantern/mooncake festival. haha.

中秋节快乐!

Back to Basic

2006-09-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

i'm supposed to be reading up accounting for tmr's meeting but yea guess it's time to do some updating, as requested. haha.

it's sem break now, there are thousand and one things that need to be done, which's really frustrating, but i'm those kind who can't do with work and no play. so have been hanging out with friends, having some fun. haha

met up with chui and shu for steamboat last wed and the meatballs were yummy! at least that's what we ate most. haha. we'd decided that we shall take up tennis together. we better do what we said this time round! waiting to go sing with these ppl tmr.

was on the phone with hf that day while the show chu1 lu4 was re-showing on channel 8 (btw i want the song of the show by power station!) and we were reminded of our secondary school days. really misses those days so much, so i am up with this idea of reliving our those days with dunno gang. we simply met up at amk library, went kfc for lunch and finally to hf's house to 'mug'. we usually end up slacking around you see. we bought toto too! but too bad didn't win anything. was telling hf how nice if we really did win the 2million! then we can use some of the money to set up our dream cafe. singapore deaming. haha. it was nice simply just hanging around, just like how we used to hang out so much. we were really busy with project, but it was fun. sometimes really really wish we were back to st nicks. the good old days. =)

always love hanging around with these friends of mine. it's just about eating, talking, crapping, laughing out loud, doing silly things, yada yada yada. allowing me to get those unhappy load off the mind for awhile. yea. it's nice even doing just the simplest things around - back to basic.

I'll Be Ok - Mcfly

2006-09-17T22:26:00.000+08:00

When everything is going wrong and things are just a little strange
Its' been so long now you've forgotten how to smile
And overhead the skies are clear, but it still seems to rain on you
Then your only friends all have better things to do
When you're down and lost and you need a helping hand
When you're down and lost along the way
Oh, just tell yourself
I'll... I'll be ok

Now things are only getting worse and you need someone to take the blame
When your lover's gone there's no-one to share the blame
You're sleeping with the TV on and you're lyin' in an empty bed
All the alcohol and the world would never help me to begin
When you're down and lost and you need a helping hand
When you're down and lost along the way
Just try a little harder, try your best to make it through the day
Oh, just tell yourself
I'll... I'll be ok

You're not alone (You're not alone)
You're not alone (You're not alone)
You're not alone (You're not alone)

Just tell yourself
I'll...I'll be ok
Oh, just tell yourself
I'l... I'll be ok
Won't you tell yourself ...
I'll... I'll... I'll...

When you're down and lost and you need a helping hand
When you're down and lost along the way
Try a little harder try your best to make it through the day
Oh, just tell yourself
I'll... I'll be ok
I'll... I'll be ok
I'l... I'llbe ok

Life & Roses

2006-09-15T11:43:00.000+08:00

Life will never be a bed of roses
Even if it is, roses come with thorns.

Yesterday

2006-09-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh i believe, in yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not half the girl i used to be
There's a shadow hangin' over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly... ...

Yesterday
Life was such an easy game to play
Now i need a place to hide away
Oh i believe, in yesterday
I believe, in yesterday
I believe
In yesterday

2006-09-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

once again - what did i get myself into?

i'm tired.

2006-08-20T19:47:00.000+08:00

The first time in my life that I'm so troubled and stressed at the start of a new semester. Usually I'd still be enjoying myself and slacking around. But this time round, everything seems to be so problematic. I sense a bad semester ahead. Save me.

As ys said, you either choose to be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond. And sometimes really wonder what I've got myself into. Sigh.

Fireworks!

2006-08-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

it was a fun day. 'dunno gang' met up to celebrate hs's bday. first up, started the day with healthy living - swimming with ys! haha.. after which met hs in town for movie. Adam Sandler's still the funny guy but overall, Click isn't just a no-brainer kinda comedy. It's a show with deep meaning then it seemed to be, conveyed with element of humour. So it basically allows audiences to have deeper thoughts about life through entertainment. It got really touching towards the end. Guess most people would wish that they can skip phases of their lives and only live those nice moments. But the show serves as an wake up call to us all to rethink about it. The point made is that all parts of our lives are really important and we'll live to regret missing any part of it. They make up who we are, what we have. Not only affecting us, but people around us as well.

Finally hf joined us after the show. We didn't have dinner at Giraffe as planned. Went OUB Building for Sakae instead. haha. And while were discussing about taking a walk along the riverside, someone suddenly remembered there's display of fireworks today.. so smart!! To our suprise, there were so many people at Raffles Place on a friday night. people from all walks of life. didn't manage to cross over to the esplanade side, so had to stay in this sorta middle of the road area. the bad things about that spot was that we can't get to see those low fireworks and there were trees and big vehicles like buses passing by thus blocking our view. but the fireworks were really awesome. so beautiful. absolutely breathtaking. never seen the sky so beautiful before in my life. it's lit up with colourful bright lights, like there were stars of rainbow colours. the sky was glittery, as if stars were falling towards you. the sight was as though i had fallen into a fairytale. im not trying to exaggerate, but at least that was how i felt. haha. the fireworks made my day! Happy.

Gave hs a bday kiss but as usual, she alwayz xian2 qi4 me one.. say me so stupid summore! sobz sobz~ *crying in a corner* but nevertheless, as a super nice friend as i am..
Happy Birthday HS!!! wahaha!

had a really nice day. =)

Sing Singapore!

2006-08-08T22:03:00.000+08:00

"Count on me Singapore, count on me Singapore, count on me Singapore to give my best and more, count on me Singapore..." "We are Singapore, we are Singapore, we will stand together hear the lion roar... We are Singapore, Singaporean.. We the citizen of Singapore, peldge ourselves as one united people..." these familiar tunes were ringing in the NIE campus in the late afternoon. Apparently there was some sort of National Day celebration. We were humming along with all the national songs while dragging our feet towards the bookshop in NIE (as much as i didn't want to, thanks to the popularity of Popular bookstore in NTU). Oh how nostalgic.

I was asking, why didn't NIE spread this spirit of celebration to NTU? TQ's answer was "We are too busy???" hmm... but i want to have National Day celebration! =( it used to be such a big event in schools, especially during primary and secondary school days. Oh those sweet days. Probably a month or so before National Day, there would be preparations such as learning to sing the national songs during music classes. If I remembered correctly, 童谣 was the first song I mastered. As the name suggest, 童=child, so all kids ought to know it! haha. Finally THE DAY will come and there'll be celebration and the songs will really trigger the patriots in us! I am Singapore, Singaporeans!!! and of course the best part of the celebration would be the half day off school! yay!

Come to think of it, after I no longer wear the sailor-like blue uniform of PAP, I seemed to be celebrating National Day each and every day with the white and red checkered uniform in kindergarten. Hey, white and red really go well together. We should wear this combination more often man!

But I guess what makes us Singaporean is far beyond those nicely composed tunes and the red-white combination. It's the things around us, the people around us, the way our lives are. The hawker centres and kopitiam we go for the cheap and good food. The unique way of 'chopping' sits by our diligent office workers during lunch hours. Who set this rule I really wonder. The label of kiasu and kiasi Singaporeans (refer to the previous point for kiasu and as for kiasi, who isn't?). The playground with sand, swings, wooden seesaws and concrete slides in the neighbourhoods. Synthetic grounds and plastic slides had taken over these days though. Uncle and Aunty as we address anyone older than us. I very much prefer Gor Gor and Jie Jie though (keep that in mind kids out there!!) All the hardworking students mugging our way through to get our PSLE, O levels, A levels and all sort of certs. The National Service, aimed to make our boys to men, at the same time stopping the clock of the guys while their female counterparts move on. thanks for defending our sunny island guys! SBC, TCS or MediaCorp as it is known now, keeping us entertained with Channel 5, Channel 8, Channel U, Central, Channel NewsAsia and Suria, producing well-known drama characters like the Aiyoyo teacher whom people of all races know of. And of cause all the radio stations that take over the shift late in the night. From the flimsy bus/mrt cards to the high-tech-just-tap ez-link cards. The long queues in various Singapore Pools' outlets islandwide especially on weekends, with the common hope of striking 4D, big Sweep or whatsoever. Signs with four languages all around. The "fine" country as we are known to others. The lah lor leh huh hor orh and many more terms, which come out of our mouth so naturally, causing abit of worry to our government, hence the birth of the- Speak Good English Campaign. Franking speaking, I'm quite a supporter of Singlish. I think speaking Singlish is not really a big problem. I guess most of us know when are the times not to use it. None of us are really such hardcore supporters of Singlish that we are willing to forsake our grades for oral exams or presentations to show our loyalty.

"Over the years, I've grown to be a part of you... It's the little things that we share, the love and joy that's in the air. The children's laughter everywhere, and all our favourite things... Over the years, I've grown accustomed to your ways..." Oh how apt.

Come on Singaporean, it's National Day! dun be shy leh! sing lah! "One people, one nation, one Singapore~~~~~"

Happy 41st Birthday Singapore! Happy bday!!!

Back to the Books

2006-08-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

3 months ended in a wink. back to the books. it's the second day of new semester and it's also the last day of school of me this week, thank goodness! the first week or so of school reopen is always tiring. it's such a chore to join the long long queue in the bookshop to buy the super duper heavy textbooks. it's as if the bookshop is having some GREAT GREAT Singapore Sales. -_-" it's been a tiring tiring two days running around school to get stuff done, get books, booth manning for cca fair during breaks and of course all the lessons! i get headache just by simply looking at all the textbooks. urgh! digits digits and more digits! gotto really buck up this sem! sometimes looking at the freshies, especially when we went back for the hall camp, remind me of how we used to be - blur. haha. and that day dage was saying we already known each other for more than a year. how time flies. haha. sorta miss the days in halls with dage, 3.5 women and ah pek. oh ya and saying "ni si ding le!", with the power of 3 women, to jeffery. had fun saying that back at the camp that day. haha. oh ya! talking about jeffery, it was so funny looking at him tekanning the freshies for sp night. hahaha.

the world is small. it makes Singapore really really small! so coincidental! but so? haha

2006-07-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to think that Blythe Dolls actually look rather cute. Really won't mind having them. haha.

Blythe Dolls are cute, while my favourite Barbie's pretty! The desses are all so exquisite. I am so gonna get hold of AT LEAST one of the Limited Edition ones someday!

2006-07-23T21:39:00.000+08:00

Met up with Geraldine twice this week and watched 2 movies on two consecutive days! But at least ticket prices are lower on weekdays. Yea, always try to avoid the blood-sucking prices on weekends whenever possible. haha. Watched Pirates of The Caribbean follwed by Just My Luck. Gotto say the effects in Pirates are good and Johnny Depp's good as usual. Hmm.. as for Just My Luck, a typical teenage-kinda show. Gets abit draggy at times.

Finally the "full-force" of the 'dunno gang' united today after quite sometime. haha. The term 'duno gang' is actually rather new to me. Just got to know about the term from friends few days ago. It's a term the NUS's CSC people gave and it's derived from the chain we all wear, with the word 'dunno' carved on the pendents. haha. Frankly speaking, I'd prefer the 'gang' word to be left out. Not very pleasent you see. hahaha. Was looking all over for The Calling's first album - Camino Palmero, but it seems to be out of stock everywhere! urgh! Alex Band has nice magnetic voice in my opinon. Thought SI's contestent Jonathan Leong's voice sounds slightly similar. Nice kinda voice. I'm gonna continue my search for that album! Despite unable to find that, I bought toys. yay! Baby Minnie Mouse and a small dog. They're really cute! Take a look at mini dog.

2006-07-18T15:36:00.000+08:00

new template! first time having a more postive looking template. haha. though i'm not a fan of the colour green, but thought the retro looking background's nice. haha. the picture of the header is a small part of a picture that was taken by hf at one of the backstreet in bugis the other day when we met up. yup, so credit goes to her. haha. here's the full picture, it's nice =)

went ecp to cycle with sab and weetee yesterday. actully i was the only one cycling. the other two were blading. haha. hmm.. as much as i didn't want to admit it, gotto say ah pek can blade quite well. at least fast enough to race with me cycling! haha. poor sab had a tough time. haha. oh ya gotto thank ah pek for the coconut juice! yummy! my arms were aching so badly yesterday night that i'd problem getting a good night sleep- reuslt of not cycling for too long. haha. to prevent that, we're going tomorrow again! ah pek and his jian fei da ji hua. haha! yea my roomie's going too. hope it'll not rain, not too heavily at least. haha. hope we'll have fun! haha. can't wait to meet up with the 'dunno gang' this weekend!

2006-07-14T23:05:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to put a post right after the telecast of the last match, marking the end of World Cup Germany 2006, which did not end in the most cordial manner. Of cos about the infamous headbutting act of the well respected captain of France, okay ex captain to be exact, Zidane. Just 10 minutes away from the end of his glorious career and it had to happen. What a way to end it. Zidane said he was sorry, but did not regret what he did. oh yea. That's the man!

If Materazzi really did insult Zidane's mum and sister, all the way Zizou! That's how a real man should act! yea! Please take note that I used the word MAN. All humble beings as we are, have feelings. So it's only natural that Zidane will flare up when he heard those insults. This goes to prove that he's a man who treasure his family members alot. I'm definitely not saying that committing henious crimes like murder or sort are pardonable based on the same argument. The headbutting incident is not even a serious crime to speak of, far fetch from it in fact. So what I'm trying to point out is that I'm not saying we ought to condone violence, but cases should be judged on case by case basis. Oh yea and the issue about the violent act affecting children who might have caught it. Oh please, if that act would really have such a great impact on children, parents shouldn't be thinking how Zidane will influence their kids, but rather how MEDIA will affect their kids. But hey look, we've all grown up watching cartoons, movies and shows in which superheros fight the baddies, literally. So did we all grow up being violent people? Well, at least I would not label myself as violent, at least till today. There are of course exceptions to it. It's just like most people are taught their whole life that violence is not right, but does it stop violence from happening? What in this world has no exceptions?? Anyway, on the brighter side, perhaps the incident proved Zidane a really good player, who is deemed as a threat to his competitors if it was a plot to get him off pitch - a compliment afterall. However, I thought it was rather unfair to say that if voters were given the choice again, the Golden Ball Award would not belong to Zidane. I beg to differ. Well, with all said in my opinion, depsite not being a fan of les Bleus, my stand is clear.
Zinedine Zidane - he's the man!

I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow. Sorta regretted it. It's been ages since I woke up before dawn and it's gonna be tough. i better get to sleep. yawnz~

2006-07-09T23:07:00.000+08:00

The soccer fever's gonna end soon. No more waking up in the middle of the night to catch the matches. It means I'll be able to get undisrupted beauty sleep throughout the night! Hmm.. but there's no beauty to speak of in the first place. That's sad. Haha. However, with the end of the world cup, there seems to be nothing really exciting to look forward to. And it's gonna be a long 4 years before we'll be able to catch the teams in action again. The thought of how old I'd be 4 years later scares me actually. It seems that time will just slip by so fast that my life will be a waste.

This morning's match - Germany vs Portugal, was a good match besides for the disappointment of Michael Ballack's absence from the field due to injury. But I'm glad Germany won with the score of 3-1. =) Both teams really bucked up in the second half of the game after the first beautiful shot by Germany's Bastian Schweinsteiger (hmm..what a long name). The Man Of The Match was rather impressive with two nice shots and one triggered by him also. Maybe it's just human nature to need a catalyst to trigger the drive in them. Though Podolski did not really shine in the game, but who cares, he's the best young player! He's good! Hahaha. Cristiano Ronaldo too! His wonderful footwork and determination till the very last minute. Perhaps people could just stop harping on the 'Ronaldo-caused-Rooney-red card' incident. Who doesn't make mistake? And I guess it had already caused him the best young player award in some way or another.

Back to my own life. It's really great slacking around and stuff. I just simply love holidays! But it feels like time is slipping away so quickly and I'm just wasting my life away day by day. Really gotto do something about it. But guess what I'm best at doing? Bingo! Procrastinating! That's right! How wonderful is that huh? Before I know it, I'll be old and full of regrets.

Anyway, enjoy the last match of World Cup 2006 in few hours' time. France or Italy? You decide.

2006-07-02T02:03:00.000+08:00

i'm back! i'm not abandoning my blog! haha. haven been blogging mainly cos of work.. having to look at com screen for more than 8hrs i've got quite sick of it when i get home u see. yup. haha. but yesterday.. the day before to be exact.. it was the last day of work! finally! here comes holiday!! yay!!!

many things to update about actually.. let's see.. oh ya came back from bangkok trip long long time ago.. haha. it was fun! really love going on holiday! the experience on foreign land makes everything interesting. and of cos good companion as well.. 6 crazy girls! haha.. oh and the result of specialization was out long ago too.. got into Banking & Finance.. i'll be leeching on TQ! haha.
finally met geraldine the week before after such a long time.. we met up twice actually.. went sing song on our latest meeting n while singing landy wen lan's 祝我生日快乐, we noticed the guy in the mtv's actually ah meng(devil beside you) aka mike he! in the mtv.. all he did was to kiss landy!! aint she lucky?? haha!

anywayz Portugal jus won the match! yay!! thought it was quite a gd match.. much better than Germany vs Argentina yesterday. watched tt match outside the kopitiam near smu.. omg... the smoke smell's worse den tt of clubs. quite an experience watching match outside. haha. it was part of our farewell. back to the portuagal's match.. Por's goalkeeper, Ricardo, did a gd job. Miguel was gd too.. and of cos not forgetting Cristiano Ronaldo! he's really fast and nimble. and of cos cute!! haha! but guess Por most prob will be meeting Brazil in e semi, which means most likely they wont get to the finals. but nvm.. Brazil's good.

2006-05-31T21:57:00.000+08:00

update update update.. need to do some updating before i forgot abt my blog again.

sometimes i get really confuse. it seems that it's just easy to be happy when there are people around even though there are stuff weighing you down. or it's just an appearance? it's always when you're all alone that things start to fill up your mind, bringing you back to your inner self. is the subconscious at work supressing the things that you dont wish to think about? perhaps i'm a schizo.

on a lighter tone.. i'm goin bangkok tmr! it's been 8 yrs since i went there twice in the same yr when i was p6. the last time was on the p6 trip. it was sure fun! this time round will be goin with chui, yp, cw, jo, zz n me! as yips mentioned 6 crazy gers n 3.5 days! haha.. the trip was all setttled within 1 day. from deciding to making reservations.. yes within 1 day! impromptu! tt's the way ti get things going manz! =hope it'll be fun filled! too bad karen, my dear partner chose not to go. sigh~ poor ger gotto work n hav lunch by herself wout us. =(

to dear karen if you read this.. see la! dun wanna go with us.. but dun be sad k.. as i said we'll keep u in mind! we'll be greeting you b4 we eat! remember to write notes to me in e little note book wor.. hahaha. dun miss ur partner xiao mi feng too much.

2006-05-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

is life in black, white & grey?

原来不是白就是黑
只不过是天真的以为
要醉得清醒要无辜的犯罪
现实的世界只有灰

or is it just grey?

i just wanna breathe again
learn to face the joy and pain
discover how to laugh a little, cry a little
live a little more

i just wanna face the day
forget about the woes of yesterday
maybe if i hope a little
try a little more
i'd breathe again

2006-05-14T01:30:00.000+08:00

earrings again! haha

Boho Series

cost: S$15.80
twenty_eightsix@yahoo.com

2006-05-14T01:21:00.000+08:00

a view i took while waiting for the bus one day.. the sky was beautifully in a mixture of blue, orange and grey, but too bad my phone's camera can't capture it. however the lines of the mrt tracks look quite nice too =)

2006-05-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

hey ppl.. esp girls! take a look at this..

Le Classique Series

cost: S$12.80

if interested, you can email to: twenty_eightsix@yahoo.com

2006-05-07T00:09:00.000+08:00

it's been sometime since i've been here.. my dear chui told me to update even though she sees me everyday and this update will somehow seems so familiar to her... dunno why hor? let's see..

i was happily enjoying the 1st week of holiday with triple S - sleep shop and slack. but on tues when i was happily enjoying my lunch in nydc and chui got a a call.. she got a job. after awhile, i got a call and i've got a job. and yes, you're right, it's the same one. that explains why we see each other everyday. as much as i didnt have enough of the triple S, who can resist money afterall? and the best part was that the job started on the very next day. i wake up everyday thinking- what am i doing? why am i waking up so early? it's holiday! i want my holiday.. sigh.. depressing. our lives are depressing. sobz sobz. wonder how long will we hang on the job manz.. haha. i wonder.. i'm gonna get my holiday sooner or later!

2006-05-01T01:55:00.000+08:00

worries,
aplenty.

fear,
engulfing.

escape,
attempting.

denial,
indeed.

2006-04-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

as requested by jess.. i'm back. haha. exam's over. finally over. in fact it ended on monday. wanted to blog on monday but apparently blogger had prob and refused to publish the post, so forget about it. lemme see where to start..

people have been saying "happy rite? exam over liao" and my answer will be "not really". so far have yet to feel much about it. relax, definitely. sometimes i think too much for my own good. but can't help it. sigh. i don't wish to find out anything. sometimes i really want to be all alone. not wanting to be in contact with the outside world. 'cause only then can i escape from everything else and live in my own world. that's my way of escaping. anywayz 'nuff of that. let's update other stuff.

day 1.
first after the last paper was over, went crystal jade for xiao long bao.. love it! yummy!! my first time ever watching a korean movie in cinema- The Art of Seduction. chui said that her friend said it's a damn funny show, but raf wasn't exactly keen and said it's only hearsay, and with that i told raf in the future, she shall watch the movie first before suggesting to watch it with her friends. then it won't be hearsay right? hahaha. chui was conned into believing the tickets were sold out. but taking the fact that it shouldn't be such a hot show and it's monday evening, she went to the counter to ask for the tix. we had to make sure she went up to ask before telling her they'd actully bought the tix. haha. quite a nice show. it's funny. but there's a part when the guy inside was so sweet!! did everything to make the girl happy! sigh~ haha. after the show, we spent a long time in coffee club trying to help shu find her 'direction'. hahaa. but i guess in the end she need to make her own choice.

day 2.
what can be done in 12 hours? you can go oversea and back. really. thanks to my crazy friend who alwayz come out with wonderful ideas but she insist that i'm the crazy one who alwayz make sure that the ideas are excuted. but in my opinion, nothing will be done without the ideas. right?? haha. but impromptu's good! i mean what for think so much. it'll be so sian if your friend suggested something and is excited about it and you'll alwayz say "eh see how lor
or "ok. other day la". -_- usually if think too much and need too much planning, nothing will be done at all! so if the thought comes, just do it! just like how we decided to go hong kong and went settled the trip within few days! and it's somthing we'll never forget! oh having said so much, have yet to talk about what was done in 12 hours. we went jb to shop and came back to go kbox. and we sang for 6hrs! omg. never sing for so long i tell you! we sang till we feel that we'll have muscle ache at the throat the next day! hahaha. it's was like towards the end i could not control my voice anymore! lolx!

day 3.
met zhiqi after so long! my dance-liking partner. hahaa.. that's why we went to watch Take the Lead. lolx. not a wonderful show i gotto say. too much talking i guess, but whenever it's a show about dancing, watching the moves alone will be enjoyable enough. haha. Do you like dancing? If you do, you're made for it. that obviously didnt come from me. of course it's from the show. duh. haha. but yea. i agree. dancing is all about enjoying the music and the moves. but doing it well or not is another story la. hahaha. i wanna dance! lolx!

have been play solitaire since exam time. i'd like to believe it trains my brain to be alert. haha. have been watching 恶魔在身边 again. so nice! so sweet!! haha. that's it for today la. i'm tired. nitezz!

2006-04-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

stat-is-sick. indeed.

exam's FINALLY over. it's been a long 3 weeks.. ought to be over the moon. yea ought to.. but sigh. guess i'll need time to get over it.

let's just enjoy hanging out and doing stuff i like. yeah.

2006-04-16T15:14:00.000+08:00

sudden urge wanting to watch old chinese shows like telemovie Qi Yue Qiao Jia Ren and Wild Orchid.. but will never be able to do so i guess.

i'm dying.. sigh

if you're losing your way
think back on yesterday...

2006-04-11T14:18:00.000+08:00

it's early in the morning.
mummy wakes me up as usual
and brushes my teeth while i sulk as i wanted more sleep.
and off i go to school.
few hours later, school ended.
home sweet home.
3 o'clock, time to watch old drama on tv.
5.30pm, more tv.
6 o'clock wheel of fortune's on.
6.30pm, followed by the pyramid game.

life's so nice
but can never turn back time.

sometimes i tend to wonder why peope go mad.
did they decide to let it go and not bother about anymore things?

2006-04-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

it never was a problem
and why is it so now? why?

i need to find something i'd lost for a long time
it's hard after all these years
memories of it is vague
where was it left? where?

what is it then?
myself. perhaps.

2006-04-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

watched 4 movies in total these 2 days (out of which 2 i'd watched before).. 3 in a row today, quite a heavy dosage manz. not exactly for pleasure as cinematic pleasure ought to be (cinematic pressure as my friend called it. haha) but quite enjoyed the shows.. much better than the first few. haha. and the common thing about these shows is that they got me thinking.

the first was From Hell... horror flick about the serial killer back in the 19th century (if i'm not wrong) who went around killing prostitues- Jack the Ripper. beneath all the gory killings, it showed the superficial society where the highly educated and rich were regarded as 'gentlemen' who should not be suspected of the crime. and of cos the twist of most stories will always be the other way round. and no exception for this film.

next was 12 storeys by Eric Khoo. i like that show. i've always like local shows with their touch of local flavor. it's a chronicle of life, dipicting typical Singaporean pysche in a subtle way with the element of humor. or perhaps it's cynicism? it shows the things that are happening around us everday. the way people act. one thing about watching local shows like that are that heavy national issues are brought up with humour. in a sense they're entertaining yet trigger my thoughts.

Bowling for Columbine- Micheal Moore probed into the issue of gun violence in US. watched it in JC before during GP lesson but can't really remember the details. it reminded me that i wrote a strory based on the Columbine High School massacre, which the documentary is based on, during sec sch. it's just sadness. sadness for the people who were victims of it and for the ones who committed it as well. the irony and cynicism was brought across with the song 'What a Wonderful World' with images of killings around the world. indeed, what a 'wonderful world' we're living in. the world isn't all about bad doings, but it's not wonderful afterall. while watching the show, a sudden contrast came to mind. the contrast between the movie Home Alone and Bowling for Columbine.

finally In Mood for Love, the well-known artsy-fartsy film of Wong Kar Wai. despite watching it for the second time, i still failed to fully understand the show. maybe it's too cheem for me la. anywayz, according to the lecturer, the show brings about a sense of nostalgia. but he said that most of us in our 20s, there's nothing to be nostalgic about but i disagree with it. totally.

nos·tal·gi·a

1) A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.
2) The condition of being homesick; homesickness.

it was not stated in the meaning how long ago the past ought to be, so to me, anyone who starts have memory of the past is capable of being nostalgic. things that happened 20 yrs ago were the past, but things that happned 5 yrs ago were also the past. so feeling nostalgic is not just the priviledge of the older people.

anywayz, those above are just random thoughts of the films. really gotto hit the books.

2006-04-03T22:16:00.000+08:00

never assume the thing is always there. one day when you suddenly go looking for it. it's gone. it's a sense of guilt cum loss. guilt because you've never paid attention to it, even when it'd gone missing, you didnt realise it. loss because you've always thought it's there and you'll be able to reach it as and when you wish. but it's not. it's gone. forever.

guess it applies for people to. but it's always easier said than done.

2006-04-03T15:48:00.000+08:00

okay, now i'm in sch waiting for OB lesson=OB presentation (*gulp*) sigh... since i've decided to waste my time away not making any effort to memorise the script, i shall do some update for the wkends worth mentioning...

basically i wasted my whole wkend on my eyes 0_0... wanted to get new contact lens as my supply of it had been used up. BUT they refused to sell me! apparently coz my eyes have prob. was told to go eye doctor and ended up waiting at ttsh for so long.. now my eyes are on medication.. which make my eyes produce yellow substance.. sometimes i wonder isit pass of isit the cream itself.. anywayz, the bottom line is... i can't wear contacts for sometime. sux.

2006-03-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

what's up with my life? it's in a TOTAL mess. absolutely.

sch is pissing me off so much. papers start like 2 wks from now n next wk still have report due. wtf! im so irritated! what kinda system is this?! not as if the semester's not cramped up enough. giving slackers like me one week break to piah will die isit?! bloody hell! URGH! i juz wanna SCREAM.

life. it's been too dull for liking. nothing to look forward to. nothing. void. emptiness.
should really put a stop to some things. no time nor energy to think about it anymore.

sometimes i find the view from jurong east mrt station in the night quite nice. it's usually windy too. tonight it made me really wanna go to the beach...

feeling the gentleness of the sea breeze against my face
claming the nerves
listening to the melancholy of the wind
with the heart
be comforted by the stars' companion from above
feeling safe
be at ease as darkness conceals everything else.

a haven in need.

2006-03-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

as requested by chui, here's a new entry. haha..

from the song THE WORSE DAY EVER by Simple Plan

Yesterday was the worse day ever
And tomorrow won't be any better
It's history repeating on and on...

sounds familiar to me... hahhaha

2006-03-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

Does knowing what’s right but not doing it makes it more rational then not knowing what to do and not doing it? Apparently not. Can’t seems to remember since when did this fire lose its flame. Seems that it’s been such a long time ago that it’s hard to recall how the touch of the flame felt. Triumph? Confidence? Pride? Can’t remember…

Can’t remember when did this escapist got lost in her own world, allowing herself to be deluded by illusions or rather taught her mind to erase stuff that will hit her hard on the face. If it persists, she’ll never be able to get back to the real world. Even if she does, it’ll be real tough. Even now, it’s hard enough. She's perpetually tired. Probably tired of the herself. She’s tired of her obstinate self, which she very much detests. How sad can it gets when she can't face the reality and herself?

原來最疼痛的表情竟是沒有情緒...
原來最悲傷的是我不能面對自己

she urgently needs to get back.. before it's too late.

2006-03-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

2006-03-15T22:42:00.000+08:00

l love yam cake!

Ides of March

2006-03-15T21:38:00.000+08:00

The ides of March- Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Caesar!

got reminded of Julius Caesar by ys juz now.. sec 3.. those were e lit days.. really miss it!
ides of March.. fall of Caesar.. but I was born! haha.

lemme see.. the first ppl who celebrated for me were my dear les cum ex squatter sab n my dear roomie, huiwen! haha. suprised me with a cake, which the candle just cant stay lighted, yesterday! haha.. according to sab, i'm easy to bluff.. thanx arh.. made it sound so real how i noe lor.. haha. though dage wasnt physically around, erm but his voice was la.. though e phone. thanx gers n dage too!

my only free day but had to go sch for project! so i'm basically waking up at 630am tis whole week! URGH!! but the bday song my OB-mates sang to me made it up! haha. thnx peeps! =) ended project late.. erm.. due to the chatting too la.. so i ended up having to rush to town to meet hs n hf.. sry for making u gers wait so long.. sorry!!! though ys ended sch late.. but she still rushed down. it's been a long time since we all met together! haha.. they made a merry-go-round model with 4 bears on it for me! sooo cute!! thnx gers!!! *muackz*

usually my parents will celebrate it during the wkend before, but tis time round didnt manage to. and so it stuck me that it's my mum who gave birth to me and i feel that tis day will mean alot to them as well, so i ought to leave the night with them. haha. and there goes the date with shu, chui n raf. miss you guys.. meet up soon!

man man.. got the present u sent me.. thanx! miss ya too.. take care! dun too stress in hk! oh not forgetting the unique way of greeting my the roomates yp and vivi.. wahahah!! thnx everyone for reminding me abt not being a teenager anymore.. joining yp in the OLD FLOWER CLUB -_-" haha.. anywayz, last but not least.. to all my frens out there.. ur 'happy bday' really made my day. thanks! =)

accounting quiz on fri!! =S

2006-03-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

it's gonna be a crazy week. i don't like it. what a sad irony it is...

i don't like what is going on.
i don't like what is happening.
most of all, i don't like myself.

a fool who's too sure
a bird, who's lost her wing
a fire without it's flame...
a song without a soul

an empty shell

疯狂世界

2006-03-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

疯狂世界 (Mayday)

如果说了后悔
是不是一切就能倒退
回忆多么美
活着多么狼狈

为什么这个世界
总要叫人尝伤悲
我不能了解也不想了解

我好想好想飞
逃离这个疯狂世界
那么多苦那么多累
那么多莫名的泪水
我好想好想飞
逃离这个疯狂的世界
如果是你发现了我
也别将我挽回

想了你一整夜
再也想不起你的脸
你是一种感觉
写在夏夜晚风里面
青春是挽不回
的水转眼消失在指间
用力的浪费再用力的后悔

我好想好想飞
逃离这个疯狂世界
那么多苦那么多累
那么多莫名的泪水我
好想好想飞
逃离这个疯狂的世界
如果是你发现了我
也别将我挽回

2006-03-10T22:01:00.000+08:00

finally brought my Zen micro to repair.. but they changed another unit for me. doubt it's brand new though. let's take it as the same old Zennie of mine anywayz. it's gonna be a year old soon (13th Mar).. bought some accessories for it. =) though its performace not great neither is the touchpad, nonethelss it's still my darling, which accompanies me almost to everywhere i go. sometimes i'd rather listen to it den to talk. was really sucky when it didn't function well for the past few weeks. oh ya! i wanna complain the accessibility of Creative! why isn't it like any other brands where care center can be found in many locations?! it's so inconvenient for customers! took a bus there and realised there's a path from the train station there. even the bus stop was like a distance away from the building. -_- decided to walk back to the station and so i walked through this machiam long man-created path under the track of the train in the middle of a huge field, where no one will notice if anything ever happened until someone walks pass. *shakes head* anywayz i'm done with going there and hope will never have to go again.

so many stuff's gonna due soon.. basically there's someting need to be done for each module lar. it's like gonna take up ALL of my early and free days! and it's gonna be exam soon! Urgh!!! Help!!! really gotto buck up manx!

not gonna be bothered or affected by it anymore. ain't no more! no way! no!

2006-03-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

many things piling up. thousand and one.

i'm worried.

2006-03-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

There was a boy,
a very strange enchanted boy.
They say he wandered very far, very far,
over land and sea.
A little shy and sad of eyes,
but very wise was he.
And then one day, a magic day,
he passed my way.
And while he spoke of many things,
fools and kings,
his he said to me,
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return."

- Moulin Rouge-

2006-03-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

new reality show coming up on 20th March -
So You Think You Can Dance

finally! finally a show on dance competition!! yay!!!

anticipating.

2006-02-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

i'm so bored from trying to study FM.. quiz on tues..sigh~

ever watched the movie Amelie?

Amelie's this girl who sees the world in a magical light.. hmm.. in another word, she just seems to be living in the world of her own. i feel that there's this Amelie living in every of us. i mean sometimes don't you just think that only you yourself can see some things in a different light that others don't? at least i do.. for instance, sometimes when i see or hear some stuff, there'll be this comic strip rolling in my mind, which can be hilarious and i'll can't stop laughing about it! but whenever i try to explain to my friends. they'll give me this "erm.. not very funny leh" look. and i'll realise how amusing it is that only i can picture so weird and dumb stuff in my mind, and it will make me laugh even harder! so funny! hahahaa! sometimes i'll not be bothered to describe wad i'm picturing in my mind coz it won't appear to be funny unless people can see how it looks like in my mind. as much as i'll like to share, but sadly they can't. so i can only laugh to myself. haha. am i weird? perhaps. haha. but in my opinion, there's tis part of us that's reserved for ourselves deep within. keeping us company at all times. it's a place we can retreat to as and when we like. no reservation required.

world of my own.

2006-02-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

a quote from Casanova...

Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. If that woman were me I would love him alone and forever. ~Francesca Bruni~

2006-02-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

here i am, trying to clear my mind and vision too perhaps. there are thousand and one things all rambled up in my mind that i have to say but need to sort them out first and hopefully bring the right words out.

'heated debate.. the way i said i wanted it to be'.. so i see..it wasn' that convincing afterall. it's single sided.. it wasn't meant to be hurtful, but apparently it turned out to be. didn't know that it would cause such pain. i'm really sorry. as i've always know, i'm a really sucky person. especially to people who are closer. it just seems that i'm never doing or saying the right things/words. words tend to turn out harsh even since the past. i know that by saying that's the way i am is just an excuse, but besides that, there's nothing more i can say. that's why sometimes i truely dislike myself. i really do.

got to admit that there was anger when i first saw what was written. but sadness has now taken over and it's overwhelming. i know you're trying very hard to move on. i know it very well. i really do. i tend to avoid mentioning things that will remind you of it as well. we are all battling with fears now. we are afraid. afraid of wrong words, wrong actions, heading into a wrong direction, things turn out to be wrong. many fears and worries. maybe they're weighing us down. maybe.

i'm sorry again for doubting. it wasn't supposed to be bad. just concern. perhaps because things were never said or put acrossed or even the lack of contact, hence doubts set in. doubts and assumptions have their chance to invade as words are left unspoken. and for that very same reason, i chose say those things. and maybe that explains that letter too. i don't know. all were said in the hope that they don't come in too late, which often lead to regrets.

was reminded of a story earlier in the night. it left me in tears not too long ago. a breif summary of it:
a man was sentenced to death for the murder of his mother's abusive lover. since he was young the lover would beat him for the most ridiculous reasons. his mum would always help to beat up the boy. on one of his birthday, he was beaten again. since then, he had lost hope in his mum. hatred overtook fear. he didn't want to allow his mum to be with him at his death sentence. he rather have his treasured teddy bear there then his mum. that was how much he hated her. but in the end he found out that his mum didn't abandon him. in fact whenever she beat him up, it was to save him from harsher punishments. and whatever that was 'remained', his mum will get it from her lover.. his mum was there with him in his last journy. but words were left unspoken for too long. truth came in late.

i've got to agree with you that we've hit a rough patch. we are all totally cluelss of what can or should be said and done. maybe it's a time to test how strong the bond built in the past 7 years truely is. it's real dark and we all can't see the road ahead. we're losing our grip as well. if the hands are not strong enough to hold it on, we'll all get lost in the complete darkness. tighter grips in need.

sorry for the pain caused by your lousy friend here.

it might be a chance for me to do self-reflection on the whole issue and soul-searching. beginning to get confused. no longer clear of what i'm thinking, what i'm feeling. can no longer think properly. it's all in a whirl.

1.30am

2006-02-12T17:04:00.000+08:00

i know im not supposed to be doing this.. there're tons of things waiting to be done.. BUT i gotto blog this.. i drove for the first time! of coz i meant without an instructor! hmm.. maybe not exactly.. juz that papa took the role instead. haha. was quite suprised when he asked if i wanna drive there.. was quite worried at first.. but glad i took up the offer! haha! drove from home to sch and back home.. which means i drove from amk to jalan bahar and back to amk. haha.. going on expressway was shiok! was driving like near to double of my usual learning speed manx. fun! haha. went back to pack and get back my stuff.. it seems rather empty now. okie gotto get back to work now. complete the last bit of the assigment and mug for tmr's accounting quiz! i need luck.

2006-02-11T20:50:00.000+08:00

im running out of time. all that's up in my mind now: 4 pages assigment, personality tests, critical thinking, rubics, criteria, accounting quiz, hwk. it's bad. the assigment's giving me a big headache. the criteria listed in the rubic are out of the world. gotto finish it before tmr morning by hook or by crook. gotto get panadols.

survive thru' monday n it'll be fine!

2006-02-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

guess gotto agree with wad hongen said.. that when u reach a peak, it'll always go in the opposite direction again. and in my opinion.. much faster as well. it juz accelerates. everything seems crashing down n all juz go wrong. like so many mind boggling stuff creeping up and clinging onto you. but it's not that things that happened or still happening are the sole factor. big part of the prob lies in me. yes me. first and foremost, as i mentioned before.. i'm spoilt. yes i am. but.. i juz am la. which sux. next, i juz cant ever seems to fulfill anyting i set out to achieve. NEVER. coz it's me. really wonder when will i stop this suckiness.. at loss..urgh! *frustration*

wanna go back to the good old days. primary school. hanging out with the bunch of crazy frens.

took it off.
growing distances yet no effort made. wonder where it'll lead to.

2006-02-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

today started off badly.. things juz didnt go well.. tot it was a bad omen *fingers crossed*... but guess i was too tired to be bothered abt it.. until i was sitting outside the briefing rm! so freaking scared for a moment. and as usual.. didnt hav the luck to get the kind looking testers.. guess this time round was much worse then the last time. dun like him..yikes! didnt bother to give any sign of acknowlegement when instructions were given. he was all cynical (at least tt's MY impression) n so reluctant to give a pass.. but wadever. who cares abt him..i got my license! yay!! so happy!!! lalalalala~

L-plate NO MORE!

2006-02-06T19:34:00.000+08:00

driving test tomorrow again. neither high hope nor confidence. but hope it'll be fine. so coincidental that yp taking the test tmr too! haha.. juz wanna wish yp all the best tmr! good luck! we can do it! =)

2006-02-05T22:49:00.000+08:00

one of the songs currently in my playlist on repeat mode.. really nice, just like Dreaming of You..

I Could Fall In Love by Selena

I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
'Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay
'Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let go

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

I could only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still
So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try
To do what I should do
But I could fall in love
Fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

Siempre estoy soñada en ti
Besandos mis labios, acariciando mi piel
Abrazadome con ansias locas
Imaginando que me amos
Cómo yo podia amar a ti

So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love
I could fall in love
With you

I could fall
Fall in love with you

2006-02-03T22:59:00.000+08:00

first and foremost, Happy New Year to one and all.. hope u guys will hav a great year ahead =)

wad a way to start the day: my mp3 player spoilt.. shant go into wad happened.. my it's spoilt.. haiz.. really love my zen mirco.. 1) it's in nice purple 2) all my fav songs are inside 3) really need to hav music any n everywhere i go.. and the most important thing is that 4) it's a bday present frm mummy for my last bday.. it's almost a year old.. but not yet leh. haiz. sad. really hope it can and will be repaired soon. i am sad.

watched 小孩不笨2. i've always like this kinda show.. so yup.. it's nice.. both the movies always seems to act as a catalyst to stirr emotions and reflections. there are many things in life that we jolly well know we shouldnt or should be doing.. but are doing otherwise even knowing the fact that they'll lead to regret. perhaps we're all too stubborn for good.. at least for me, i am. absolutly.

and to chui..ur driving skill dun sux! =)

2006-01-24T22:16:00.000+08:00

on the way back home on the train, was sitting beside a guy who was digging him nose happily, flipping his papers on people and wetting his fingers with his saliva to ease flipping of the pages. i very much like to tell him: hey there, there're some things u can juz keep to urself. there is no need for public display of them. oh mentioning about this reminded me of the girl beside me during lect.. she was like clearing her ear hole (the pierced one) and den she jus kept flicking stuff off her fingers.. omg, where is the sense of hygiene of people?! sometimes i wonder can anyone really dun care about how other people see them? totally indifferent to the scrutiny they're under? i can't imagine that coz personally, i gotto admit that i cant. can you? people can jolly well say they're just happy being themselves and who cares about what others gotto say. but in my opinion, still think that it is inevitable that every individual will be affected by the judgements of others. as much as we would like to ignore or even deny that, i feel it's just how the way things are.. there's no way we can really oppose it. it might sound like a loser who is twisted around the fingers of social norms or whatsoever, but hey.. sometimes we really gotto face the fact.

wanna watch 'i not stupid 2' but it seems that most of my frens are not interested in watching it in cinemas.. i wan.. like the first show coz i feel that there are well mixed of various elements in the show.. and it's something we can relate to. can still remember i cried at the scene where the boy was bringing his result to his mum who was in the hospital.. he didnt manage to reach her expectation afterall, but his mum was nonetheless happy cos he had put in effort. so i guess it made me realised that sometimes it's not that parents have unreasonable expectations, it's juz that they view things differently. so anyone wanna watch that show?

but wadever. those are not important..wad's impt today was wad i did...
after a long long struggle, i'd finally done it.. finally filled up the withdrawal form and handed it up.. tt's it.. no more turning back. was thinking about it throughout the journey back home just now and all the memories came back.. how we slacked arnd in our room, the 128 hangout (remembered it when i filled in the room no. on the form juz now), how we would have breakfast together and walked to sch, and of coz having supper with ah pek or neville (3 1/2 women) or dage. but i guess the analysis we did in OB tutorial was true somehow- that maybe i really do need space of my own. and i can't help but feel as though im trapped in sch if i were to continue staying. it's quite a selfish decision i've made. had been goin in circles about this issue for a long time.. some might think wad's the big deal about it..but to me it is.. coz it's a decision that will not only affect myself. have no idea how to put it across to zhiwei.. maybe i'd disappoint him.. i don't know. but the more important thing is that im sorry hw.

everyone who saw me today was asking if i'm very tired..yes i am..wasnt feeling well and it had to be such a long day..really hate tuesdays. been a bad day.

2006-01-22T20:29:00.000+08:00

it's been hanging in my mind all these while..been thinking about it over and over again, asking the same question over and over again. it didn't help having an indecisive nature (for most stuff at least). but at this very point of time, this selfish self has finally come to a decision. have no idea if i'll ever regret or whatsoever, but i'll miss it for sure from time to time. no matter what, i guess there'll have to be give and take for everything. nothing's perfect afterall. have no idea how am i going to put it across. seriously have no idea...

world of my own.

2006-01-21T00:33:00.000+08:00

was only supposed to meet chui for lunch yesterday.. or rather the day before(thurs).. den head back home, be a good girl and do my FM homework(which are due on every friday -_-"). but in the end succumbed to temptation! thanks to chui n cw, off we went into the cinema to enjoy Memoirs of a Geisha. The little girl who acted as young Sayuri sooo cute and pretty!! Somehow i still get this feeling that the Chairman's slightly pedophiliac. haha.. but nonetheless the show was pretty nice i think. the show suddenly made me feel that it seems that everything in this world revolves around love. i guess it really does.

went sing song with chui n raf juz now.. it was hilarious when we sang the old old shuang1 tian1 zhi4 zhun1 theme song- 当爱插身儿过. damn funny la! hope the guy who came into the room didnt get a shock. but the song's cool la! haha.. oh ya! and 1 more ting frm today.. erm.. fri i mean.. dear chui ah.. dun tok so loud n scare ppl k? hahha!

okie.. that's it la..i'm falling aslp soon.. nitezz!

2006-01-17T12:47:00.000+08:00

knew it right from the start.. it sucks..

it really does

2006-01-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

i just wanna scream

2006-01-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

it's sat..finally!! tis wk's so stressful! FM's so cheem.. i duno how to do e tutorials.. i'm so dead!how am i gonna survive this whole sem?!! things dun look bright.. oh no..

haiya.. but since it's wkend.. let's throw everyting aside for now! hahaha.. juz got home not too long ago.. full day out..damn tired.. but im not complaining coz it's for our dear ms. au's bday! u've hit the BIG 2! wahahah! so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! oh..we juz invented a new game today! cake jenga.. when the cakes we were eating left only a small portion that's standing, we'll take turns to eat the cake and whoever who causes the cake to fall is the loser! our poor chui.. partly due to the plastic fork she was using (the rest of us using metal forks la.. haha) she lost twice! and raf.. i noe u like mangoes.. oso dun need take e full piece mah.. lolx! a damn lame game la.. but hilarious too! hahaha..

haiyo.. kept talking abt driving just now.. im really worried. even raf felt scared 4 me.. nvm la..worse come to worse do it again! erm..not lik i'd be left with any other choices if tt happens.. but still.. nvm la. will touching driving licenses b4 the test really work? hmm..might have an answer on tues.. haha.. oh..chui darling..gd luck 4 ur fencing com in advance!

shall stop here.. i'm tired.. nitezz!

2006-01-11T00:52:00.000+08:00

need a break. hence i'm here now.

it's only the second week of this sem and i'm actually stress.. i find this so ridiculous and unbelievable. but i really am. hello?? shldnt i still be relax and slacking at least for now?? urgh! there are so many work to be done. and knowing that, i can still go out and have fun just now. really doubt i can finish them (mayb i deserve it). sux man. really hate the mess i'm in now. just hope that i can survive through this week or rather this sem well. save me from this destitution.

next. i'm desperate to get my driving license. i am so serious. tired of going for driving lessons, doing the same things over and over again. having one at 10am tmr.. another one another day and another and it just goes on..taking up so much of my time and money. i have better uses for them. cant help but wonder does it really help? i'm so not going to believe my instructor anymore if i were to fail my test. ok, not very wise to curse myself like that esp when the test is next wk. but still.. cant describe how deperate i am. i need luck.

back track to sunday..wanna give credit to ZQ for being a good host. though froxy's nails were abit sharp and he gets abit domineering at times, nonetheless the class gathering was fun! =) the guys were still as lame as ever.. indian poker was.. hahha.. though it's been more than a year but it felt like yesterday..

chui dearie.. since u've made up ur mind.. be happy abt it n not tink of it anymore. it's rational of you to be able to come up with that decision. and we can plan for our next holiday! yeah~~ haha.

can't wait for next holi..i know the last one just ended.. i noe la! but dreams give motivation.. hence.. i'm dreaming..

2006-01-06T22:15:00.001+08:00

was caught in a storm. in the middle of the sea. finally got to experience how it is like to be on a "small boat caught in the storm in the middle of the sea". was fun though.

been a really bad girl today. guilt. sigh. i'm sorry.

2006-01-05T22:21:00.000+08:00

see man's back! long awaited arrival.. haha. was so worried when didnt hear frm her in the morning..cos if she had overslept.. there goes the lunch i organised.. luckily everything went well. but the weather sux.. rained..stopped..rained..stopped..and went on and on and on.. always causing us to stuck at buildings that are not linked to other places.. amanda wanna bridge so much but didnt managed to do so.. come to tink of itl, it's been a long long time since we bridged! missed those days which we'll find any corner in sch to bridge and heck our homework. reading rm, classrooms, etc.. bad kids! those were the days.. haha. ok! this sunday we're gonna do it! haha! i'm too tired to continue with anymore elaboration. desperate for slp, but i still haven make my mind! to go or not to go..that's the question..tired! urgh!

2006-01-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

was watching some variety shows and realised tt WITHOUT fail.. the participants will CRY.. i wonder why.. it's like it's a must in show for those participants to cry.. but i guess they're over doing it and it's losing the effect. no. no sympathy. not at all. in fact i get rather turned off by the crying.. there are more things out there that's worth the tears. save them for better use.

2006-01-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

first day of sem 2:

wad happened to the holi? it flew passed yet again. fine, still gotto face it anywayz.. didnt wanna wake up for sch, but decided to be a good girl and dragged myself up. the car dieded. wad a nice start of the day.. great. created my first ever experience of going to sch by myself early in the morning for lesson. cant believe how long the bus queue was! lucky thing was that i met cindy on the way and with the experience, brought me to the shorter queue =) but still, we were late. haha. the lecture was.. *yawnz*.. boring lects are bad enough.. but on top of that.. cant catch half.. or rather 3/4 of the stuff the lecturer said. booth manning was next.. boring as usual. crap event.. and hong en n his popcorns.. didnt noe u like those kinda popcorns leh.. haha.

met chui to go visit raf.. realised we sure noe how to self entertain very well.. dumb and dumberer.. lolx..oh n to chui: i'm sure ah mei's surname is AH la.. wahhahaha! wad did smu did to u manx?! hahaha.. juz slacked arnd in raf's place..talking and watching tv.. reminded me of how it used to be long long ago.. juz tt the venue changed, frm chui's place to raf's.. but still it was nice =) to raf: pls ah.. dun open ur mouth so wide can? scares me ya noe? haha.. dun watch shows tt'll make u laugh or yawn k? sad life i noe.. but hang on! haha! take care.

chui darling.. as for ur florida tingy.. u really cant expect a fair answer frm me cos since now tt im not goin, honestly i'd rather u not go n we can plan for another trip. to taiwan! rite raf?? and have another hilarious holiday experience. haha! so tink abt it urself la..

it's back in my mind.. once again. indecisive me.

cant comprehend myself.

2006-01-02T00:58:00.000+08:00

it's e second day of 2006.. a brand new yr.. wonder wad's up for tis yr. didnt manage to write an entry yesrtday.. or rather an hour ago.. nonetheless, i wanna wish one and all.. Happy New Year! really hope tt it'll be a good year ahead. =)

2005-12-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

It's christmas eve! i've always preferred xmas n cny eve rather than the actual day itself... just love the atmosphere =) xmas to me is all abt warmth, love, joy and toys! used to get barbie dolls every christmas. my ideal xmas gift in the past. it's still vivid in my mind how spoilt i was in the past that there was once my uncle asked me wad i wanted for xmas and as usual i asked for my fav! haha. but guessed he forgot abt it and got me a swatch watch instead n i was so upset abt it tt i couldnt stop crying.. in the end my dad bought 2 for me! haha.yes, indeed im spoilt rotten. but really hate empty promises.. i'd rather not have any then empty ones. esp not on special occasions..

spending xmas eve with the usual gang yet again but im not complaining. every yr we'll wish for the same stuff n we jus wonder when it'll ever come true. will it? haha! sry hw, cant make it for chocolate fondue tonight. other day k? promise! im still dreaming of a white christmas though.. ideal with night view of NYC! xmas movies like 'home alone' are wonderful too! haha. it's the season to be jolly, falalalala lalalala..

dear santa..we've been.. erm..quite good this year.. will you drop by?

where is santa?

anywayz.. jus wanna wish one and all..

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2005-12-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

live for today and plan for tomorrow

how very true.. yet not so very easy..

2005-12-15T06:03:00.000+08:00

never did learn my mistake. as much as i know what alcohol will do to me, i still did it. alcohol.. too stubborn for good. yucks *puke*. yes, literally did it. there goes 21bucks. and yes, of all places there. ok at least not on the dance floor. but still, how wonderful it is. great.

promise to abstain from alcohol. phobia.

i am so tired.. but my dear hair just refuse to dry. heck, sleeping anyway. *yawnz*

goodnight/morning.

2005-12-12T23:21:00.000+08:00

i dun like to say comforting words. not that i don't care. but cos i dun wish to remind you of the unhappy stuff. and yet do not know what's exactly appropriate to say. and yes, you were right in saying we can't imagine how it feels.. how very true. all that we can do probably will be hoping to see your old self once again. we know it takes time. no worries, we'll be waiting, be it a month, a year or even longer. but you shldnt take too long a time too, cos there're many things and people that you live your life for.. sometimes in our rush to see you back to ur old self, we might sound harsh, hope you'll understand. you've always been there to hear my thousand and one complains, problems, worries and stuff.. likewise, i wanna do the same for ya. =) guess only here that u can get these words from me.. cos i dun reckon i'll actually say it out loud.

sad.people are all sad for different reasons.

happy. hope everyone can be happy for one reason or another.

2005-12-11T20:00:00.000+08:00

went JB to shop yesterday.. for a lame reason.. we are dying to go on a 'oversea' trip tis holiday.. but all thanks to someone tt we cant.. goin florida wout ME huh? thanks arh.. (im rather sensitive to words like florida & new york nowadays. sigh) anywayz, the journey there was horrible! took us few hrs jus to get cross a causeway. rather not mention abt it. but it's still quite funny the how we got our way through and the way raf 'guarded' n coolly overtook e few women. really wonder why cant ppl jus queue properly?! isit tt hard?! urgh!

raf went mad looking and trying on shoes frm shop to shop.. and after a long search.. FINALLY she got THE shoe. ok, it's quite nice lar.. but green shoes with the gold tick really reminds me of xmas lor. and as usual, she went broke after getting it (tt was wad happened in hk a yr ago too) as i said- killed by a shoe.

on our way back, due to the traffic jam, we figured tt it'll be much faster if we walk.. my first ever experience of getting across the causeway on foot. vechicles jus zoomed pass us inches away like nobody's business. scary.

come to tink of it. it's almost a yr since our hk trip. misses it. the pretty night view, the nice weather, taking pic with 'santa' n of cos how hilarious we were. tink we'll still be laughing abt it 10yrs down the road. lolx! let's do it again!

able to spend time with my good old frens is a big part to why i love holiday so much. =) looking forward to my fav xams and cny. do not wish to think of things tt wil dampen tis mood. trying to escape frm it. but it's not tt easy. i'm jus an escapist.

sounded different. cold. hope she's fine.

can things ever be the same again?

maybe not.

2005-12-09T01:16:00.000+08:00

Life's really unpredictable. it's jus a thin line between life n it's counter part, but the distance it created is unmeasurable. we have no control when we'll cross that line, but pls dun seek to cross it. when it's time it'll come. sometimes i feel that leaving this glorious stage of life could also mean gaining eternal peace in ur own world, not having to bother about superficial things in life anymore.

a true escapist.